I don’t know if this is good news or bad, but something many of us have in common is an overactive need to achieve, people please, and grit our way through just about anything.
How do I know? Well, after reading chapter 1 of Burnout Immunity, many of you reached out to say, “you must have been in my head when you wrote that chapter”, and “I felt like you were speaking directly to me”. Apparently, we are very much not alone in our burnout struggles.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my burnout experience, it’s that I need to be both aware and awake:
- Aware of how overachieving and overfunctioning amplifies my stress and gets in my way, and
- Awake to the signs that my grit isn’t giving me a gift—instead, it may be holding me back from practicing self-compassion and kindness.
You see, I’m not one of those lucky people who was born with burnout immunity. And I’m not exactly known for my serenity under pressure (just ask people close to me). That’s why even now, after all the strides I’ve made to recover from burnout and heal my relationship with work, I work at my emotional intelligence skills every single day.
Often “no” and sometimes “yes”
I’ve made a commitment to always get better at living in a way that is aware and awake, that is centered on my values, purpose, and vision of my ideal self. Every day, I see that person a little more clearly. If anything threatens to lead me away from that healthiest, happiest version of myself, I do my best to say no.
But sometimes… what I need to do is actually the opposite: to say yes. In my case, I realized after the book launch intensity that I need to say yes to a nice long break. I need to focus on deep recovery, renew my energy and recalibrate my emotional, mental and physical health.
Because the last year has been A LOT, and by “a lot” I mean a full-on convergence of big personal and professional experiences. It often felt like new sh!t was hitting the fan just about every day.
There were a number of incredibly positive and rewarding professional experiences, from seeing Burnout Immunity hit the USA Today bestseller list and be recognized by the Financial Times as one of this year’s best business books, to being selected for the 2024 Thinkers50 cohort and appearing on The Tamron Hall Show.
Yet all of these pinch-me achievements happened alongside some of the most painful and challenging personal experiences I’ve ever dealt with (I know it’s not trendy, but I’m choosing to keep those private). It’s an understatement to say I’ve been living a dream and a nightmare at the same time.
What aware and awake looks like this summer
And that’s why I’ve decided to say yes to a 2 month hiatus where I will be:
- Pausing my monthly newsletters and social media posts
- Implementing practices that will help me “unhurry” my life (I’ll share more on this in a future newsletter)
- Creating the conditions I need in order to be at my best (in that sweet spot of stress) when I jump back into things
- Spending lots of time with family and friends in Montana – hiking, music festivals, whitewater rafting, long bike rides, and exploring Yellowstone and Glacier National Parks
Here’s what I won’t be doing, to the best of my ability:
- Worrying about what’s next (it’s super easy to fall back into my “I achieved that…now what’s next?” pattern)
- Rushing from one thing to another because I’ve overcommitted myself (yet again)
- Repeating the same Protective Patterns (see p.133 – 135 for a cool exercise to discover yours) that cause me to over-function when I get super stressed
Overall, the goal this summer is to live as fully aware and fully awake as possible. And to proactively practice the “Aware-and-Care” mindset (which you can find on p.207 – 211). My goal is to be uber intentional about taking back some control while I’m working to improve my mental health.
— Kandi
